Military Rules

Something funny I found that is very true.

US Marine Corps Rules:

• Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
• Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
• Have a plan.
• Have a back-up plan.
• Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
• Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a 4."
• Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap.
• Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
• Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
• Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
• Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
• In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
• If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.
• Remember, when all else fails, an entrenching tools primary purpose is NOT for digging holes but cleaving skulls.

Navy SEALS Rules:

• Look very cool in sunglasses.
• Kill every living thing within view.
• Adjust speedo.
• Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:

• Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
• Locate individuals requiring killing.
• Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
• Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
• Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:

• Select a new beret to wear.
• Sew patches on right shoulder.
• Come up with a new patch to cover that section of blouse that still shows what color it was.
• Create another new badge for something like "mouse-pad" expert to go with all the rest of the "expert" badges.
• Change the color of beret you decide to wear.

US Air Force Rules:

• Have a cocktail.
• Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
• See what's on HBO.
• Ask "what is a gunfight?"
• Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint presentation.
• Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
• Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
• Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
• Hurry to make 1345 tee-time.

US Navy Rules:

• Go to Sea.
• Drink Coffee.
• Watch porn.
• Deploy the Marines.